The Bean

it's dried up and she flicks it away,pretending at carelessnessbut something about it suits her needs andshe has another cuppa anyway

Forgot

The newest tattoo is looking beautiful...healing very nicely. When I switched to Curel instead of Lubriderm, it started looking much better. It's sad but I already have the next ink projects planned out. Someone stop me.

Much Better

Doing much better after the initial shock of the missing/dead father drama...it's not anything I want to talk about or can really explain, just know it's there and bothering me.Work sucks. Class sucks. My dirty apartment sucks. But at least the fruit flies are gone. Perhaps I shoudl take out the garbage and do some dishes. I have to make it decent before company arrives for the weekend.

All about the Scorpio

One of my girlfriends emailed me some Scorpio descriptions over the weekend. I always knew I was a dead on Scorpio, but this is too much... :)This is the sign of extremes. Scorpio people are variously described as powerful, weak, independent, clinging, passionate, and cold. Clearly, you are a bundle of contradictions encompassing the best and worst in human nature. The key to your personality is intensity. Magnetic, emotional, capable of exerting tremendous force, your strength is hidden in the depths. In the sign of Scorpio the element of water is fixed, and image that suggests an iceberg or a bottomless well. You may appear impassive, sometimes unapproachable, but turbulent passions are always rolling underneath, invisible on the surface. You need a positive avenue of expression - in career or love or creative achievement - or your feelings turn inward, become imprisoned, at times even destructive. More than natives of any other sign, Scorpios live at a high pitch of emotion. Its negative aspects are brooding, jealousy, resentment, even vengefulness. The positive aspect is your unswerving dedication once your emotions are engaged. The Scorpio energy, drive and endurance are legendary. Above all you seek you give your life a meaningful pattern, to find a deeper purpose. You have a philosophical turn of mind and may become interested in religion and the occult. Your sixth sense enables you to intuit things before they happen. You are blessed with a native understanding of the human heart and a great awareness of life's secrets. All the water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) tend to be psychic, but Scorpios delve into the powers of the mind that others are afraid of. This is the Zodiacal sign of birth, sex, death and regeneration - areas of human existence in which a person confronts the mysteries of the universe. Many Scorpio natives are brilliant doctors, surgeons, scientists, and spiritual leaders. The complexity of your mind makes it difficult for you to skim the surface; you must uncover what lies beneath. Whenever you are studying a new subject, learning a language, hunting down a fact, or just reading for amusement, there is a quality of penetration in the way your mind works. Your relationships are usually complicated. This is not surprising when you consider that you can be simultaneously generous and affectionate, violent and unpredictable. In your sunniest moods there is always a hint of an imminent change in the weather. You are also deeply loyal to friends but are also intensely jealous and possessive. You cannot tolerate the thought that anyone you love might have a yearning or even a simple yen for anyone else. With you, it is usually all or nothing. Moderation and emotional restraint are not in your emotional vocabulary. You never forget a kindness and try to repay it handsomely. Conversely, you never forgive an injury and will wait for years to get even. In fact, most of the time getting even isn't enough - you want vengeance. It is strictly not advisable to do harm to any Scorpio. You may make a dangerous enemy, for you are as subtle and as deadly as the symbol of your sign. You are a fierce competitor, though often you manage to conceal this from others. You file away pieces of information, facts, names and don't hesitate to use what you know if the occasion arises. When you spot a weakness in a rival you move in quickly for the kill. You are adaptable, able quickly to change your formidable energies into new paths and to embark on an entirely different career. Confronted with disaster, you will try to turn it into success. Practical and shrewd, you believe in tangible immediate goals, and your single-minded concentration on getting what you want is formidable. Clever with money, conservative about spending, you have an excellent chance to amass wealth. In business, you tend to accomplish things first and announce then second. By the time an opponent is aware of your progress, it is a fait accompli. Your nature makes you subject to obsessive drive, which can be resistant to reason. You will dominate and control anyone who lets you. Suspicious and wary, you are reluctant to trust your heart to anyone, but once you do, you love deeply. Too many astrologers, in describing the sign of Scorpio, forget to emphasize how loving, generous, kind, loyal even gentle a Scorpio can be. Many idealists who adhere to high principles and have a great positive force for helping others are born under this sign. What all Scorpios have in common is intensity of feeling. Emotion not only rules, it characterizes you. You are passionate in love, and passionate about everything in which you become involved. You are an individual painted in vivid colors; There is not such thing as a pastel Scorpio.Here's some more... The Sign of the Inspector. Passionate, Determined, Energetic. Color: Dark Red. Scorpions like to study what makes people tick. Their goal is to unravel the deepest mysteries of the unconscious, to challenge any possible fears, and finally to make their actions correspond perfectly with their feelings. As the sign of death and regeneration, Scorpios can destroy and create with the same intensity of passion. In this vibration all reality- even death- is felt and accepted unblinkingly. It is almost as if Scorpio natives have decided to live with an intensity based on the knowledge that any moment might be their last. Scorpios have a firm sense of determination that often turns into a form of devotion to whatever it is they need to do to get what they desire. Scorpios know what they want and they have the courage, willpower, and drive to get it, or the pride, self-control, and stubbornness to live without it. In fact, Scorpio is the sign in which self-control is most intense. No other vibration is as relentlessly committed to facing reality, no matter how gloomy that reality might be. Secretive, extremely intense are seldom soft-hearted or overly sentimental, they feel that life is a difficult game in which they have to hang tough in order to win. But that doesn't mean its natives are devoid of compassion, Scorpios are intuitive and inspirational, and very protective of people to whom they are attached. Few parents are more devoted to their children than Scorpio parents. Scorpios are very dependable and are very prone to live up to any commitments that are honestly made. Scorpios have a great deal of animal magnetism. People are drawn to them. They are the most sexually secure of all the signs.More yet... IMAGE: An enigmatic and powerful presence. Has self-assurance, a keen, analytical gaze and succinct, forthright opinions. Often disconcerting but never dull. PERSONALITY AT BEST: Undaunted, indomitable, trenchant, trustworthy, vigilant, instinctual, resilient, wholehearted, resourceful, invigorating, accomplished, heroic. PERSONALITY AT WORST: Implacable, vindictive, intolerant, fanatical, resentful, suspicious, acrimonious, unreasonable, intractable, jealous, taciturn, tempestuous. LIKES: Art, poetry, music. Home, company, the good life. Respect, power and redress for injury. Facing challenges, finding solutions, keeping active, and winning. DISLIKES: Personal questions, curbs and confines. Betrayal, indolence, half measures and trivia. Mediocrity and lack of control. Shallow, dishonest or weak characters. IN LOVE: Torrid, responsive and very committed, loving with heart and soul, strength and compassion. But moods and unspoken feelings can cause misunderstandings. MOTTO: STILL WATERS RUN DEEP.And even more...Occasionally one sees instances where this process of Scorpionic "tailspinning" plummets the individual so deeply that it gives rise to its exact opposite, with what might be called the "Phoenix effect." Here, the individual hits rock bottom only to rebound from the ashes totally transformed, in a way that other signs may not experience as a result of being more even-keeled in temperament. Despite its admitted efficacy, most of us would no doubt opt for more judicious and incremental methods of personal growth.

I think many peop...

I think many people cried and cried when they heard this song. It played at the end of the ER episode when Dr. Green died. It's a medley of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "What A Wonderful World". It's sung by ISRAEL "IZ" KAMAKAWIWO`OLE and I plan to have it played at my funeral when I die. The lyrics are timeless and the melody brings tears to my eys every time I hear it.Ooo oooooo oooooo oooo ooo ooo oooOoooo oooooo ooooooOoo ooo oooOoo ooo oooSomewhere, over the rainbow, way up high,And the dreams that you dreamed of, Once in a lullaby.Oh, somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly,And the dreams that you dreamed of, Dreams really do come true.Someday, I'll wish upon a star,Wake up where the clouds are far behind me.Where trouble melts like lemon drops,High above the chimney top,That's where you'll find me.Oh, somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly,And the dreams that you dare to. Oh why, oh why can't I?Well, I see trees of green and red roses too,I'll watch them bloom for me and you.And I think to myself: What a wonderful world! Well, I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white,And the brightness of day.I like the dark and I think to myself:What a wonderful world!The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky,Are also on the faces of people passing by.I see friends shaking hands, saying, "How do you do?"They're really saying, " I...I love you!"I hear babies cry, and I watch them grow,They'll learn much more than we'll know.And I think to myself: What a wonderful world!Someday, I'll wish upon a star,Wake up where the clouds are far behind me.Where trouble melts like lemon drops,High above the chimney top,That's where you'll find me.Oh, somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.And the dreams that you dare to, Oh why, oh why can't I?Ooooo oooooo ooooooOoooo oooooo ooooooOoo ah, ah, ah... eh ah ah, eh ah ah ah ah...

I wouldn...

I wouldn't be explaining my soul if I didn't include my two favorite U2 songs. I first heard "With or Without You" in 1993 at Jody Sheldon's birthday party on Ham Hill in Centralia, Washington. Her dad was playing the guitar and we had been playing outside. After a while, we all came inside and turned on the CD player. He big sister put this on and we were dancing in a circle playing "keep the balloon in the air" while we listened to the song over and over over on repeat. It was beautiful. "Where the Streets Have No Name" has been one of my favorite songs since I first purchased Joshua Tree in 1995, but it really spoke to my heart at the U2 concert in Minneapolis in 2001. It was a few days before my wedding and I was in a very strange place emotionally and spiritually. The lights were dim and the opening strains started playing and gradually got louder and louder. The lights got brighter and brighter until the whole Target Center was bathed in yellow golden light. All at once, I saw my life stretching out before me and behind me and I just cried and cried because I was so happy.Where the Steets Have No NameI want to runI want to hideI want to tear down the wallsThat hold me insideI want to reach outAnd touch the flameWhere the streets have no nameI want to feel sunlight on my faceI see the dust cloud disappear Without a traceI want to take shelter from the poison rainWhere the streets have no nameWhere the streets have no nameWhere the streets have no nameWe're still building Then burning down loveBurning down loveAnd when I go thereI go there with youIt's all I can doThe city's afloodAnd our love turns to rustWe're beaten and blown by the windTrampled in dustI'll show you a placeHigh on a desert plainWhere the streets have no nameWhere the streets have no nameWhere the streets have no nameWe're still buildingThen burning down loveBurning down loveAnd when I go thereI go there with youIt's all I can doOur love turns to rustWe're beaten and blown by the windBlown by the windOh, and I see loveSee our love turn to rustWe're beaten and blown by the windBlown by the windOh, when I go thereI go there with youIt's all I can doWith or Without YouSee the stone set in your eyesSee the thorn twist in your sideI wait for youSleight of hand and twist of fateOn a bed of nails she makes me waitAnd I wait without youWith or without youWith or without youThrough the storm we reach the shoreYou give it all but I want moreAnd I'm waiting for youWith or without youWith or without youI can't liveWith or without youAnd you give yourself awayAnd you give yourself awayAnd you giveAnd you giveAnd you give yourself awayMy hands are tiedMy body bruised, she's got me withNothing to win andNothing left to loseAnd you give yourself awayAnd you give yourself awayAnd you giveAnd you giveAnd you give yourself awayWith or without youWith or without youI can't liveWith or without youWith or without youWith or without youI can't liveWith or without youWith or without you

I first heard thi...

I first heard this song in January when I got the album "Come Away With Me" by Jones. This is my favorite track from the CD and is one of my fave songs of all time. It sums up how I feel about first loves.Shoot the MoonNorah JonesThe summer days are gone too soonYou shoot the moonAnd miss completelyAnd now you're left to face the gloomThe empty room that once smelled sweetlyOf all the flowers you plucked if onlyYou knew the reasonWhy you had to each be lonelyWas it just the season?Now the fall is here againYou can't begin to give inIt's all overWhen the snows come rolling throughYou're rolling too with some new loverWill you think of times you've told meThat you knew the reasonWhy we had to each be lonelyIt was just the season