I was...

I was in junior high, seventh grade. One of the first CD's I ever bought. Mellon Collie remains one of my top ten favorite albums to this day.Thirty ThreeSmashing PumpkinsSpeak to me in a language I can hearHumour me before I have to goDeep in thought I forgive everyoneAs the cluttered streets greet me once againI know I can't be late, supper's waiting on the tableTomorrow's just an excuse awaySo I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my ownThe earth laughs beneath my heavy feetAt the blasphemy in my old jangly walkSteeple guide me to my heart and homeThe sun is out and up and down againI know I'll make it, love can last foreverGraceful swans of never topple to the earthAnd you can make it last, forever youYou can make it last, forever youAnd for a moment I lose myselfWrapped up in the pleasures of the worldI've journeyed here and there and back againBut in the same old haunts I still find my friendsMysteries not ready to revealSympathies I'm ready to returnI'll make the effort, love can last foreverGraceful swans of never topple to the earthTomorrow's just an excuseAnd you can make it last, forever youYou can make it last, forever you

I was four the...

I was four the first time I remember hearing this song. My mom and I were sitting in the garage at the house in Winlock. It was raining and she had the windshield wipers on, but since we had pulled into the garage, they were squeeking. My mom sang along with the music and I remember feeling a tightness in my throat, because the words were so beautiful. I think the Dixie Chicks did a beautiful job on the remake last year.LandslideStevie Nicks, 1975I took my love, I took it downClimbed a mountain and I turned aroundI saw my reflection in the snow covered hills'Till the landslide brought me downOh, mirror in the skyWhat is loveCan the child within my heart rise aboveCan I sail through the changing ocean tidesCan I handle the seasons of my lifeWell, I've been afraid of changing'Cause I've built my life around youBut time makes you get bolderEven children get olderAnd I'm getting older tooOh, take my love, take it downClimb a mountain and turn aroundIf you see my reflection in the snow covered hillsWell the landslide will bring it downIf you see my reflection in the snow covered hillsWell the landslide will bring it down.

Not Orginal

I am simply not original enough to think of my own things to say today, so I am posting some of my favorite song lyrics. Sort of to soothe myself, sort of to let the world know how I feel.The first time this song spoke to me, I was in foster care in Redmond, Washington. I was sitting alone in my bedroom on cheap blue polyester sheets. I was wearing my favorite t-shirt, a Gumby ringer tee, cut off shorts and Birks. It was wretchedly hot out and I had been busted for shoplifting the day before. My mom and dad had both given up entirely on me, and I was in a pretty low place for a 14 year old.Santa MonicaEverclearI am still livin' with your ghostLonely and dreamin' of the west coastI don't wanna be your downtimeI don't wanna be your stupid gameWith my big black boots and an old suitcaseI do believe I'll find myself a new placeI don't wanna be the bad guyI don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymoreI just wanna see some palm treesI will try and shake away this diseaseWe can live beside the oceanLeave the fire behindSwim out past the breakersWatch the world dieWe can live beside the oceanLeave the fire behindSwim out past the breakersWatch the world dieI am still dreamin' of your faceHungry and hollow for all the things you took awayI don't wanna be your good timeI don't wanna be your fallback crutch anymoreWalk right out into a brand new dayInsane and risin' in my own weird wayI don't wanna be the bad guyI don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymoreI just wanna feel some sunshineI just wanna find some place to be aloneYeah watch the world die

How I Feel Today

Seven Nation ArmyWhite StripesI'm gonna fight em' off.A seven nation army couldn't hold me back.They're gonna rip it off.Takin' their time right behind my back.And I'm talkin to myself at night, bcause I cant forget.Back and forth through my mind behind a cigaretteAnd a message come from my eyes, says leave it alone.Dont wanna hear about it.Every single ones got a story to tell.Everyone knows about it.From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell.And if I catch you comin back my way, I'm gonna serve it to you.And that aiin't what you want to hear, but thats what I'll do.And a feelin' comin from my bones, says find a home.Im goin' to Witchita.Far from this opera forever more.Im gonna work the straw.Make the sweat drip out of every pore.And I'm bleedin' and I'm bleedin' and I'm bleedin' right before my lord.All the words are gonna bleed from me, and I will think no more.And the stains comin from my blood, tell me go back home

Daniel Leeland Mattson

Why is there so much blood, she asks me. Why is the pale pink dream now scarred with death? How could he do this? How could he plunge the knife so many times? Where is Daddy’s little girl now? Somebody please tell me why he killed himself…Make the pain go away, right after you find my black dress and a plane ticket so I can mourn the shell of a human being who once so proudly called himself my father._____________________Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, PlattersThey asked me how I knew my true love was trueI of course replied "something here inside cannot be denied"They said "someday you'll find all who love are blind"When your heart's on fire, you must realize smoke gets in your eyesSo I chaffed them and I gaily laughed to think they could doubt my loveYet today my love has flown away, I am without my loveNow laughing friends deride tears I cannot hideSo I smile and say "when a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes"Smoke gets in your eyesSmoke gets in your eyesSmoke-gets-in-your-EYES_______________________Daddy’s Little GirlShe sits so quietly, the fervor of her mind quiet for once.She knows that she was never guaranteed tomorrowBut it hurts so much anyway.A piano plays upstairs, it’s playing our song, Daddy.The smoke got in my eyes and I can’t see where you are.I remember the first time you held me close andSaid I was your princess, your princess forever.And now my crown is tarnished.Did you know that I don’t even have a single picture with you?The white Grecian dress you bought me is stained with blood The blood is from the second time I tried to kill myself.You finished the job for real, Daddy.How can I learn to find myself in this lifeWhen my mother is Pandora in the fleshAnd my precious, precious Daddy is dead?I know that I was never promised tomorrowBut I was promised everything else.